Because you are mine.

Because you are mine I linger a little longer watching you sleep. You are mine and I made you. I miss your kicks, I miss holding you tight in my arms as a newborn. I miss rocking you as you fell into a blissful sleep. 

Because you are mine I watch you while you eat. Not because I'm hungry, but because you look so sweet. I'll feed these mouths for years, always admiring your features.

Because you are mine I sometimes crawl into your bed to hold you for a while. I watch you breathe slowly, and quietly because this is the only time you are quiet. 

Because you are mine I miss you while I'm gone. Yes, I enjoy my time to myself, but I still miss you. I miss it when you say mama, I even miss it when you cry and I have to kiss away your imaginary owies.

Once upon a time you were only mine and I never had to share, and one day you won't be mine anymore. You will grow up and move away, maybe get married and have children of your own. But right now, you are mine.

One day you won't need me anymore. One day you'll have pains I can't kiss away and know sorrow only an adult should know. One day your heart will break, and I won't be able to fix it. One day you might not call me mama anymore, and I won't be the first person you call when you achieve something. 

So for now, I will protect you, I will watch you, and I will keep you safe from the trials us adults know. I will shelter you, and I will never stop. I will never let you see the angry side of the world, or witness those among us who are not compassionate. 

And I will never regret it. Every day you are able to see the amazing things in the world, you will become more of the person you were meant to be and less of the person the world wants you to be. 

XX,

The Guilty Mom